Saving yourself untill you are married - This battle has been lost for my beautiful 14yo daughter, Alix.
She was in respite care [because she has aspergers and is a handful to live with] every second weekend while staying with her dad in Brisbane. A 46yo guy at that respite has been sexualy abusing my daughter over the past month. He manipulated her into thinking she loves him and he loves her. The day before yesterday he was arrested with 31 charges against him. And he should get 20-30 years in prison. The full story is here.
When my ex-husband first called me to tell me, I was a mess! I've tried very hard over the years to instill into my children the importance of waiting untill you are married. But she seemed so happy to give it away without a second thougt. She doesn't regret it. Maybe she will later on, i dont know.
God has given me an unbelievable amount of strength and assurance through all this!
He has assured me that this is all part of his plan. Even though this has been tragic for all involved, it is all part of the big picture, and i believe him. If i had of posted this blog entry a few days ago, it would have been a spiritualy strong post...but i have fallen.
Now that the original shock has subsided, it's getting harder. As bizzare as it sounds, i feel as though i have been violated too some how. I'm usualy a happy, jolly person who sees the lighter side of everything. I don't take things seriously as all unless i absolutely HAVE to. [I spent years carefully perfecting that!] And this pain inside me is sucking the very joy out of my heart! I am feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness & dispair, and the last thing on my lips is a smile.
I keep ringing her to ask her stuff that i just need to know. [Luckily she feels comfortable telling me] I need to know if she enjoyed it. I need to know if she gave him oral sex, and if she enjoyed that etc. All these disguting details that i don't want to know, yet feel the need to ask.
Alix feels as if she can go through the process of moving on now, Because the hard part is over for her. But i've just learnt about it, and i'm still at the tormented stage.
I feel so emotionaly crippled, and there's just no-one to talk to about it who can offer advise on how to move past it.
I still believe it's all part of Gods awesome plan. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but i know it's there.
I keep praying, "Lord, please take this debilitating pain away from me!" And yet somehow, i know he wants me to feel it through - Run it's course. He has a plan for this pain.
So i'll just have to trust in him, lean toward him, and let him walk me through it on his terms.
I'm glad he knows what he's doing, coz right now, i can't even plan dinner properly!

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God, Please let this pain be dealt with quickly.