Yesterday was my birthday.I wasn't looking forward to it though. You see, i was raised to make a fuss of people on their birthdays. Not before or after, but on. So they feel special on that day. There's no point in giving people presents after that day coz its no longer their birthday. You know, that sort of stuff.
So i try to make people feel special on their birthdays. My family knows this and enjoy knowing that i will make a fuss of them,And i kinda expect the same from my own family.
Well all the past week i've been VERY sick with tonsilitus [so sick i dropped 5.9 kilos! or 13.7 pounds - i still can't get over that]
I knew, because i saw the signs, that i wasn't going to have a birthday as such. And i got pretty depressed about it.
For the past 3 birthdays my family has kind of minimised my birthday. I know it's a bad time of year. Roses birthday has just past and Christmas is coming right up. But i just can't accept, "Honey we just can't get you a present this year because money is tight."
Last year John gave me a scrap piece of paper with "I.O.U" written on it. Then he paid up for my Christmas present.
I stopped asking for a party years ago. Now i'm just kinda hoping everyone will forget my birthday altogether [ i'm sure it's coming next!] rather than come out with really crap excuses as to why they need to rob me of my worldly right to have a present to open on my stinkin birthday! Even my kids not only didn't even make me a card, but one of them didn't even say happy birthday to me!
I just felt [still do] disposable
I try so hard to teach my kids about the importance of giving of yourself in every situation without asking anything in return.
But this is different.
So i was really sick and miserable for my birthday.
But God hadn't forgotten me. When i got up in the morning, i walked out of the bedroom and there was a huge clap of thunder and then it poured with rain. Thunder storms are one of my all time favourite things and it was like God saying to me, "Happy birthday Sharron!"
Then it rain and thundered on and off all morning. It was awesome!
I'm glad at least [but most inportantly] God gave a hoot :o)
4 comments:
Hi again, another interesting read that is 'real', which is what really draws me to a journal. I can often relate to myself in others writings and it helps keep me motivated (with my own weight loss stuggles etc) as it helps knowing there are others out there who are in the same boat.
Can completely relate to the disappointment of 'no birthday fuss'. I had a similar incident occur when I finished a degree at university. I had spent 3 years studying/working, plus we live on 30 acres so the yardwork and animal care etc never stops, so it was a VERY hectic 3 years. In the week leading up to my last day at Uni, friends were talking about going out to celebrate but my partner indicated that he wanted to do something together. I thought 'how nice' so declined a couple of invitations, only to discover that Warren's idea of 'doing something together' was him cooking me his favourite meal for dinner. He realised that I was disappointed and tried to tell me I was being unreasonable as he said 'you don't really celebrate until graduation day'. So four months later graduation day arrived, and I got a bunch of flowers bought at the service station. (yeah, thanx) I also make a huge fuss over birthdays or achievements, so not having something nice done for me was a real blow. (I may get over it one day :-), but then again, maybe not.
I think you need to tackle this one. If you make a big fuss about birthdays, it is reasonable to expect that the same is returned. I don't buy the whole 'I forgot' or 'we're broke' - if they but a DOLLAR away each week, just one dollar (that's 25c from Husband, and each child) they could spend $50 on you! $52, actually!
You can spend your life being miserable about this (and trust me I would feel that way too) or you can take charge of the situation. I would hold a bit of a family meeting, and say how sad you were, and how you feel 'disposable'. And also, point out how much fuss you make over their birthdays! If the same is not returned, especially from your husband, who is old enough to know better, I would make the same effort. I would warn in advance that that will be the consequence. Give a scrap of paper with an IOU - see how it makes him feel! We teach others how it is acceptable to treat us. I'm sure your kids wouldn't like it if you didn't say happy birthday to them! Point this out!
Why am I sure this will work? Because I've done it! My birthday is Feb 27th, and the first year my fiance and I were together, (which happened to be my 30th) he forgot to get me a card. Excusable, because we were setting up for a big party, but I still said "I expect a cake and card at least on my birthday. If you can't go to that much trouble, I won't for you. It's not fair, or any way to treat someone you are meant to love". He protested he couldn't make a cake. Add two eggs to a packet mix, I replied. His birthday rolled around March 30th. I made a cake, got a card, and gift. When my 31st came around, I got the same, because he knew I meant business! NOW! I disagree with you about God sending the thunderstorm your way as a gift - I think it was something more. A gift...and a big bang of a wake-up call! You don't have to put up with being treated like this! You are worth a fuss!!!!
AND! I just thought of something else! Jesus could have told all those people on whatever mountain it was (I'm a bit rusty - I mustn't have paid attnetion in religion at school too well!) "Sorry, folks, we only have a few little fish and the odd loaf of bread" but he didn't. He pulled a miracle out, and helped out everyone! If Jesus can do that, why can't your husband pull his own little miracle out and celebrate your birthday, even if you don't have much! Grrr...I'm angry for you now!
Well Lynise and Cranybee, i didn't even know anyone was reading this blog!
Thank you for your lovely comments. I was kinda depressed about the whole birthday thing. Next year i will give a little "speech" a couple of months before hand. I kinda resent having to ask for a normal birthday, but i guess i have to just accept that as reality.
Thanks again girls, i appreciate what you both said :o))
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