My oldest daughter, Alix, decided to go and live with her birth father, "Dick" for a year. I had a peace about her going, but i also struggled with letting her go because she is 14 and very niave to the world.She also has ADD and aspergers syndrome. Dick also lives in a different state and isn't much of a parent.

My pasters wife assured me that if i feel peace about it in my heart, that it is of God. I believed that. But the mother in me still worried about all the "what if"s.

When Alix left i felt relieved [and guilty that i felt that way] and i looked forward to being able to enjoy my two youngest children. All these years our days have been taken up with looking after Alix, and they have really missed out.So i want this next 12 months to be able to shower them with the attention they deserve.

Alix too felt that her life was stiffled and we were causing it. We had her on a very tight rope but we felt we had no choice.

Alix has been gone for 8 days today. Only now am i starting to see the plan clearly. This IS of God!

We live in a small town and news travels fast. People keep asking me why i let Alix go. And to be really honest, i didn't lie, but i told people the worst of the story. Maybe i was looking for people to validate my decision and make me feel less guilty?. I first knew that this is Gods plan when he said to me, in the darkness while i was trying to go to sleep,Something like this, "Don't draw attention to the bad side of Alix. You don't need to tell people the details of Alix's move. Keep it simple. If you tell the bad side, you are speaking that truth into Alix, and only the negitive truth. She is more than that, much more.Keep it simple, let me do the rest"

Every time he does that, my heart just melts! He knew that we needed help and i've prayed constantly for it [so has Alix]. I couldn't hear his gentle whisper with Alix here, because each day bought a new struggle to deal with from Alix. I couldn't let God in because everything else was a distraction. I really feel that God waited untill he felt that Alix was ready to be taken out of the picture, so he could work on all of the damaged hearts involved. First he'll let us all have a rest, then he'll do his wonderous work. I now believe [as i didn't before] that Alix will come back to us when her year is up, and i believe that we'll all have renewed hearts, and life will go on from there, a very different family life!

Thanks God, for knowing what's best, and knowing when it's best to do it!

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