On Sunday [yesterday] i sat in church feeling crap for being there. As i've said before, i struggle with alcohol. Well not all alcohol, but some labels [Not pointing any fingers at Jim Beam!] I've struggled through the past few weeks and i've drunk a lot. The drinking keeps me from a healthy relationship with God. I still look to him and ask for help, to be brutaly honest, just waiting for him to miraculously take the desire away. I know now that's extreemly unrealistic and it was my way of putting the responsibility on God instead of accepting the responsibility myself. So i go to church and reach out to God through the singing and the sermon, and then i go home and act like a spoilt brat. Still reaching to god with my hand and at the same time, stomping my feet!

Yesterday while sitting in church, God told me that i need to do with Jim Beam, What others do with fasting. I need to go without, but go without for God, not for me. And whenever i feel the need to have a drink, spent time praying and/or reading the bible and reading about his promises for my life. He made me believe, that if i do this, and in his name, i will succeed.

I claim that promise in the name of Jesus Christ! I waited on him and he did come through. As always, not the way i expected :o)