I've always thought that "Spare the rod, Spoil the child" Proverbs 13-24, ment that we need to physicaly correct our children when they do wrong or they'll grow up to be horrible people.. I never put any thought into it, i just took that sentance as black & white.I took it for granted with my oldest [now teenage] child, Alix, who is a bit of a difficult child to live with. She always seemed to be looking for trouble and doing something that warranted a smack.
6 months ago she moved out of home, and i was left with my two children aged 10 & 7, who are very easy to care for & live with in comparison!
In relation to disiplining them, i've come to realise that "He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently." isn't talking about smacking our kids whenever they play up. But it's talking about disipline as a whole. The rod represents disipline. The rod demands respect.
We don't want our kids to be afraid of us. We want them to learn to behave constructively in order to conduct themselves properly when they become adults.

For those of us who were smacked as kids, we tend to say, "I was smacked as a kid, and i turned out alright." But did we really? I'm 36, and when i look at my Dad, there's still that scared 9yo that looks back at him from behind my eyes. Not respect..fear.
My own daughter, i believe, was/is damaged by the amount of smacking i gave her. In hind sight, i think she has some of the problems she does because i was quicker to smack her, than properly take the time to "correct" her. She behaved at home, because she knew she'd get a smack if she played up. But then as soon as she was out of the house, she ran a muck, knowing there were no immediate consiquences [?] I hadn't taught her better ways to behave. I just taught her to fear me.
I've come to realise that the rod is a much wider, complicated range of disipline. Disipline that comes from really knowing our children, and really loving them. It is a whole relationship in itself.
And where does the smack fit? Do we really need to smack our kids in order to effectively correct them? Did God really mean for us to hit our children?

I know it's too late to take that back now for Alix, but i can use the information to better our relationship [somehow].
And i can use this revelation with my other two children.

Thanks God, for opening my eyes & while i'm still in a position to use it. You're the best! :o)